My husband is from Venus and his wife is from Mars! Ask him

I lose everything and talk to myself a lot. I'm a thinker. You like that? Next time someone tells you that you're crazy. Just say....I'm a thinker and I'm busy thinking.

I'm always busy in my head. You know thinking about stuff. I have so much going on in my head that sometimes when people are talking to me......I'm not quite there. You know those commercials where the wife talks to husband and he's not there. Well that's me except I'm the wife.

So, anyway, my son, DJ loses the keys to his car the other day and here's the conversation:

"I have to go up to the dealership and get keys to DJ's car."
"Why?"
"He lost the keys."
"Are you kidding me?"
"No, but you don't have a lot of room to talk."
"Why?"
"Remember when a certain clueless goofball placed her keys on top of the car and sped down the road to catch her plane?" says my husband laughing.
I look at him smiling and remembering.
"Guilty......that was pretty funny wasn't it?"
"You have no room to talk do you?"
"You would be right."
"Oh my God.....I have to mark this up there. I am right yet again!" says my husband gleefully.

I stand there shaking my head and laughing at myself.

Two days later, my oldest son calls from Columbia. He's a freshman. He's calling on some other phone that we don't recognize.

"Hello" I answer with trepidation.
"Hi Mom"
"Why are you calling on this phone?"
"I lost my phone."
"How did you lose your phone?"
"Well, I think I dropped it on the bus back from Florida between the consoles."
"Well, isn't that kind of you to call us and let us know. When did that happen?"
"Five days ago."
"And you are calling us now."
"Well........."
"I'm going to hand the phone to your father...this is his department to handle."

My husband gets off the phone with Mike. Comes into my office and starts laughing.

"He'd lose his head if it wasn't screwed on tight."
"I know."
"What do you mean you know? They get this from you." He says laughing.
"What do you mean. I haven't lost my phone."

"OK, let's run through this....you forget to take your cell phone with you...and when you do, you forget to turn it on. You've lost your ear piece ---what 5 times. You have lost your phone in the car at least 20 times. I don't know why you have a cell phone because you either don't take it with you or its not on 85% of the time. AND YOU'RE SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT MIKE'S AND HIS CELL PHONE?" He says laughingly.

"Guilty. But I am thinking. You know I'm a thinker." I say laughingly.

"I know. You're never around when I'm talking to you. I may as well be on Venus and you're on Mars. The guy's supposed to be on Mars...but its the other way around here. What's up with that? So anyway, Mike tells me the bus company was going to send his cell phone to him, then he was going to send the cell phone to me. So I said, Mike why don't you have them send the cell phone to me directly." says my husband.

We are both laughing.

My husband continues,
"So Mike says, Dad, you are brilliant. And I'm thinking to myself, I'm spending a freaking fortune sending this kid to Columbia...and I'm the one that's brilliant here...that's a problem."

"He would lose everything, wouldn't he?"

"You know they get all of this from you. This is all your fault thinker. Maye if you would have stopped thinking so damn much and paid attention a little bit....I wouldn't have to think so hard about the lost and found department at our house." says my husband with laughter.

Thinkers pay attention......to your keys and your cell phones. That's all. We can't do more than that. It's too much work.


Copyright 2007 Ev Nucci