The truth about education and how to teach your children

My expectations of my children during the summer was different than others. I didn't ship them off to some summer camp.

When #1 was just four years old we didn’t live in the greatest area and found a wonderful private school where we learned about education. My oldest son attended Wyndcroft, and we were surprised to learn that four year old children knew their alphabet and read in a class with two teachers for ten students where they studied Spanish and French. The teachers sat us down and told us our son was behind and needed to catch up. We bought “Hooked on Phonics” and “Hooked on Math”. Education today doesn't teach phonetics.I included numerous workbooks every summer in their three hour enrichment schedule.

After completing Hooked on Phonics, and Hooked on Math, I sent them to summer programs such as, “how to study and take notes” at the local high school, speed reading classes, and typing classes when they were eight, nine and ten.

When they were older, I sent them to “Kumon” where they learned rote mathematics. They also played ice hockey, basketball and crew. They played drums, guitar and the piano. They helped me when I served on the Board of Directors in our community by passing out flyers, getting petitions signed, etc. They started working odd jobs when they were ten and eleven years old, such a caddying at the country club or working for me filing.

I don't believe you can turn a button a 21 year old and say,

"OK now be responsible."

You have to give children responsibility early in life and validate their decision making.

And the entitlement issue? They were entitled to nothing. I always say, "never ever give up." They had to earn it...just like me.

Without my summer enrichment program, high standards, knowledge of the weaknesses in our educational system and the fortitude to develop my own program, I wouldn’t have sons at Columbia or at Wharton.

I have always told my sons they needed to “earn the right from me.” They never hung out at the mall. I was petrified of pedophiles. Someone recently asked me what "power" I had over my children who are young adults. You have no power over teenagers, you simply influence them.

(#1 at JFK Airport...as he leaves for Prague, Vienna, Budapest, Dublin and onto London where he will study at the University of London, Queen Mary College until December, 2008)

Early this past summer #3 played too many videos games and didn't spend enough time reading, so I took Game Cube away from him (he still hasn’t earned it back). He violated our covenant.

I had power to remove the game and lead by example, then to find books that would work for my special needs son.

Years ago a few psychologists got together and decided that comic books corrupted children's minds. Special needs children need pictures, the visual stimulation. Reading to your children is a wonderful date for you and your child.

I had some simple rules in our house. No watching television or playing videos games during the week. Two hours of video games on the weekend.

Recently we were at the shore and my oldest son said,

“Mom, you were tough, really tough, But you know what? I’m glad that you were, because if you weren’t I wouldn’t be where I am…and that’s worth it’s weight in gold.”

A while ago I got an email from a mother about something my son did with her son. My son is 14 years old, her son is 12 years old. I simply deleted the email and didn't bother responding. Mother's if you are intervening at the age of 12, what do you teach your child? That “Mommy will take care of it.”

That’s not parenting…parenting is sitting down with your child and having a conversation and holding your child responsible for their actions. How do you teach your child cause and effect? It's up to you parents to teach your children consequences.

Thank You for Being Here. It really means a lot to me that you take time out of your schedule to come by.